Choice

The ability to choose.

This is the only thing that we truly control. That is all. Nothing else. These few words are the culmination of every scrap of knowledge I possess. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I know this is true. So many touch on this, but few ever reach it. Millions of books. The entirety of religion. Life itself. All blundering around this: Choice.  Every moment we are choosing. Even to do nothing is a choice. Whether for good or ill consequences, every moment we are choosing.

Not many have grasped this concept fully, but those who do change the world around them. Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi,  Jesus Christ, just to name a few. The list is extensive. Take the founding fathers. "All men are created equal." In what way? Men are unequal in every single way except that each and every one holds the ability to choose. Even before this world began, the difference between Jesus and Lucifer is choice. One would have us choose, the other would not.

Your ability to choose for yourself is absolute. Throughout the ages tyrants, kings, dictators, bosses, overseers and your mother have all attempted to usurp this power, but it always fails. Why? Because you can always choose. This can only be given, not taken.

If we hold complete control over our every choice, and supremacy brings ultimate power, then choices are not only all-important but actually change... everything. The world was created at a word. We hold that same potential. Through commitment, action, choice, we can change ourselves and the world.

Placement Of 'Not'

Sorry, I just caught myself almost doing this in my last post so I had to share. :) Don't be an average person who throws their negatives willy-nilly into their sentences. Take these for example.

If I say:
You are taught to not lie from a young age.              
Taught to not falsify.

This is different than:
You are taught not to lie from a young age.              
Not taught to falsify.

See it? Most people never realize the difference in meaning this makes.

Want to impress me? Speak correct English, or rather, never speak incorrect English. Probably both. ;)
Again, that is another one of those things most people are unaware of.

Is It Really Such A Bad Thing To Be A Great Liar?

Sure, you are taught to not lie from a young age. And yes, society as a whole has a set of morals which include honesty. Yet, there is another inclination that tells us that is okay to lie sometimes. For instance, the universal test: 'Honey, do I look fat in this?' Let's not get into the hidden machinations of that situation though, whether they were meant to be there or not. Instead, we will take a common office setting. 'Hey, did you send that letter to accounting?' 'Umm, yup.' However, it was not, so when the asker leaves, the letter is hurriedly sent. No one ever finds out and no repercussions ever surface. No harm is done to anyone. I propose that lying is much like many other things in that moderation is needed. And no, I am no way condoning lies that hurt or affect anyone negatively. Of course, the above person was just saving their butt at the time, but I think we instinctively lie quite often to protect others and to shape up the world a little bit at a time. I am a very accomplished liar. Yes, I just said that. How then, can I be known as being honest? I would say it is because I almost never tell a lie that would hurt another and absolutely not for personal gain. If not for these reasons, why then, do I tell lies multiple times in a day? Only to protect others and to make this earth a little bit happier place.

The Power of Music

Last night, I was in a truck with three other people and the song "Watching You" by Rodney Atkins came on the radio. That was the first time I had ever heard it and I cried the whole time oblivious to the other people in the car. Granted it was dark and they didn't notice. That was good, but those of you who know me must know I hardly ever cry. Four times in my life (in public anyway) that I can remember to date. Now what was it about this song? Well, as I sat there listening, I strongly felt the Spirit of God. It wasn't because of the guitar by itself, or the singing, or even the words. The words read by themselves are great, but only when all of these elements are combined together to be music does it carry the power of God's holy messenger. This started me thinking about how powerful and spectacular music is. Let's just leave it a that. Anyway, I really, really like this song and listening to it over and over. :)

Song of the Ocean

Written by Jon Schmidt, this is my recording that I did a few months ago.
Right here. :D

The Future is Ours

 The future is ours.

So back off

Old fogeys,

You’re left in the dust.

We are sending out the old.

Bringing in the new.

 

You say we

Have bad ideas,

And silly and unrealistic notions.

 

You say we

do stupid things,

And never think things through.

 

But take a look around,

And see where you got us.

 

Lost

Who do you know who was lost?

Who was blinded

And confused

In their darkest days?

 

How many of them have gone because of others?

Could you have made a difference?

 

If you didn’t try then,

You still can now.

It is never too late.

You can always make a difference;

And even if you cannot see

It changing anything at all,

Nothing is wasted.

 

You may never see

The effects of your efforts,

But if you try to bring light to someone,

It only makes yours brighter.

Her Eyes

I watch.

I listen.

She seems so strong.

So happy.

She loves her life.

 

But her eyes.

 

When I look in her eyes,

I forget.

 

I forget what I see and hear and fall.

I fall into those eyes.

Into those dark shimmering pools and feel.

I feel so much.

 

I feel lost.

I feel pain.

I feel sorrow.

 

 

I find myself believing the eyes.

The eyes that holds so much.

That hold it all separate from the world.

Her eyes.

Change

You can stand

You can fight

Against the world.

Teachers, students

Enemies, Friends.

 

You can fight against

What cannot be stopped,

And not accept

The change.

 

But no matter,

Whatever you do,

You cannot stop change.

It’s going to happen anyway.

 

But what you can do,

Is whether you let

The changing world

Change you.

Dream

We used to run all over the neighborhood.

Flying kites,

Playing ball,

Running amok.

One day we found the tree,

On the other side of the field.

That tree was massive.

Tens of us around and hundreds high.

Or so it seemed.

It took us three days to scale the monstrosity.

Once we gained the summit,

The world became our sandbox,

Spreading out beneath us.

We fought off boarders on our pirate ship.

We stormed the wizard’s stone tower.

We flew through the clouds.

We stood on Mt. Everest.

Anything that we dreamed was possible.

Or on the hottest days,

It could just be our plain old shady treehouse,

That always caught a breeze.

Sanctuary?

Open the door

And hide away

Then close it off again.

 

Shut yourself into

Your very own

Safe haven.

 

The place to where

We run away

To escape

From the world,

Is also where

We learn to fail.

 

And yet

Still we go

Because we do not

Want to fight the fight.

The most difficult one

Of all of them.

 

To live well.

I Wrote You a Poem

The other day

I wrote you a poem

And for once I said

What I actually feel.

No longer hiding

What I have inside,

Pouring out my soul

And all of my heart.

 

But as I finished

I began to falter

Debating whether

To share it with you.

 

Staring at

The finished product

I tore it up

Just to write it again.

Look Back Down

When he was small,

Just in first grade,

He saw a bully

Picking on another,

But he looked back down.

 

Later on in life,

Throughout his school years,

Every time he saw the trash

Falling from their hands,

He looked back down.

 

During an important test,

He watched the two of them

Conniving together,

Cheating their way through,

But he looked back down.

 

For who or what will we stand?

How much has to be at stake?

Each time we do it,

It gets easier

To just look back down.

English Teachers: and Their Silly Assignments

High school English teachers are the bane of smart children. They are the masters of doling out enormous quantities of busy work. Completely unnecessary, for some of us at least. Here we get to how public schools are so incredibly inefficient. And also how when we are not leaving that one kid behind who doesn't speak English and doesn't care about school, I would rather not be thrown under the bus everyday of school for my entire life. Yes, let's not get into that. So, even though I was in college level courses this past year, (or at least it was supposed to be English 101 and 102) I still did more busy work and colored more things with crayons than I have since 3rd grade. Anyway, I did learn to write much better which is the point of the class, but I will always resent busy work and those who give it. Here was one of those silly assignments that I hate which in the end turned out to be quite meaningful and helped me to understand myself better.

To care or not to care-that is the question:

Whether ‘tis simpler in the end to endure

The curves and switchbacks of having emotion,

Or to altercate with all of the people

And, plainly put, afflict them.

To wall, to block,

Feeling

-and by barricading emotion end

The distress and the thousand apprehensions

That everyone has

-that is a road

I have walked down before.

To barricade, to feel,

Nothing at all.

Yes, that’s the problem,

For without any of the bad feelings,

That everyone normally has,

We can have no good.

There’s the value

That makes the tangle of life worth living.

What kind of a person would endure all;

The misplaced blame, the stinging remarks,

The hurt of rejection, every injustice,

The contempt of those who don’t understand,

That all channel together to hurt,

When I do it to myself

Without any help?

Who would care a whit,

To cry and groan over painful emotions,

Unless the joys of brighter feelings,

Far outweighed each and every one

Of the aches, or afflictions

So that each of us would accept

Having both ends of the deal?

Thus we see emotion is definitely worth it.

And even though I could easily

Exist without the world of feelings

I could never have great satisfaction

Or experience the feelings of

Love and happiness.

If I Cared For You

If I cared for you

I would do

Oh, so many things.

I would walk with you on moonlit beaches

And we could gaze up at the sky.

I would write a song of what I feel

And play it just for you.

I would dance with you in the rain

And lose myself in your eyes.

I would bring to you, not just one,

But a dozen crimson roses.

And then I would ask of you

If I could take you to Prom.

I would do all this and more

Because I care for you.

This is the poem I wrote to ask for Prom. Oh, memories.

Silence

Silence would,

If it ever caught me,

Be more oppressive

Than any sound.

I’m not sure that

I could ever

Consent to stand still

And let him by.

When with one simple deed

I could end my suffering

And get rid of Silence

For a moment.

By making a sound

I win but a moment,

But I can make music

Forever.

What is Sound?

A transfer of energy.
Vibrations.
Moving from particle to particle.

The velocity of the movement
Determining the pitch.

So simplistic
And yet,
A combination of these
And it evolves to a new substance.
One that we call

Music.

A transfer of sound.
Ideas.
Moving from person to person.

The feeling of the music
Determining the emotion.

So simplistic,
And yet,
Music is so powerful.